It has been a few months since my last session with my former Domme and it left me considering something I originally had dismissed – Online Submission. I was never a huge fan of the idea of having a woman, likely that I never met, being my Domme and telling me what to do. They could be anybody! Literally! How could I trust them to respect me and my boundaries? Not to mention how could I confirm that they were actually interested in me as a person and not just having some little puppet jumping through hoops over an online connection? Plus how could you beat a physical Domme right there in front of you to worship? It just sounded like a bad idea.
Well my position about online submission, as with many things, has softened. I have been scouring local (or lack thereof) options but am very limited by the area I live in. My town is very small and I am at least 2 hours from a major city. Online submission slowly began to look like a more appealing option so I started doing my own research about how a online Domme would work.
The more I searched, the more I realized that with the right Domme, it would be an excellent fit for my lifestyle so I decided to take it a step further and post my own personal ad to begin looking for my ideal online Mistress as well as researching paid Dommes – each having their own benefits and drawbacks that left me torn on which avenue to pursue.
Waiting for someone to answer my personal ad with similar interests was a long shot but maybe I could find someone out there interested in the same things I am. But no matter which way things went, even if I had 100 responses, it was going to take time. I could not submit to someone without getting to know them and finding the right fit was crucial. Plus there was the risk that I meet someone after connecting with my Domme which would leave me in a tough place of figuring out where to go from there.
That dilemma lead me to considering a professional Domme. When I quit paying, she would quit providing service and it would be a clean break. Not to mention I was sure I could find a paid Domme willing to take me on as a client a lot quicker then someone willing to do it for free. The downside would be the connection and trust. When a relationship starts with exchanging money, I could not help but question if the person had any legitimate interest in me at all or just collecting a pay check for their services.
After careful consideration, I decided the happy middle ground would be to post some ads but to hire a Domme in the meantime and began preparing my ad and looking at paid Domme’s webpages and advertisements for someone who fit into the kinks I wanted to explore.
The night I was going to post the ad I told Kesarah my plan who had an alternative I had not considered and offered to be my Mistress.
To me it made sense. She has experience, we had known each other for YEARS and I consider her my closest confidant and trust her implicitly. I also know that it would be strictly a Domme/sub relationship so if my situation changed, it would not be an issue. After discussing the idea and batting it back and forth for a couple weeks we came to an arrangement and I officially entered into submission this week – which you all will be able to follow here on Thinkkinky.
This kind of exhibition is not something I would normally consider – I always remain private when it comes to my BDSM activities save for a VERY select few. But after speaking with Kesarah, I can’t help but feel excited about my submission being on display for others to see. Whether people are going to follow it to learn or just enjoy the progression I think that is a positive thing and it is getting me out of my comfort zone.
I have no idea what she has in store for me and judging by my first weeks tasks – this is going to test my boundaries but at the same time I am looking forward to it. Stay tuned and find out!