Dassem’s Domination Week 2 – Domme’s – the Ultimate Motivators

A few weeks ago I was asked if I was interested in doing chastity again as part of my online domination. It was a decision I had to think about briefly but ultimately the answer came pretty quick. “Absolutely.”

The first time I was in chastity, by the end of it I was rather bored of it and looking forward to taking control back – the excitement of it had worn off. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it but I could not see myself being locked indefinitely, at some point I crave normalcy – or at least my definition of it. I was in chastity for a few months but had the advantage that I was broken in slowly. My Domme would come over at least once a week to unlock me. Most of the time this was just for a shower to clean up – with the door open of course to make sure I wasn’t cheating on our arrangement. But at least once a week I was free even if it was just a brief period of time.

This time around, my key is frozen solid in my freezer and the spare is on its way to Kesarah’s mailbox. When she is ready to release me she will return it – my key is for emergencies only. I have to admit the ice cube was a stroke of genius. It will take conscious effort to get out my key and give me time to let it sink in that I am breaking my arrangement with Kesarah if I do so. That has been enough to temper any temptation to let myself out – at least so far. The truth is, this time is a little bit more scary. I have NO idea how long she plans to leave me locked up – it could be a month or months. Of course I could always call it off if it gets too much but I want to see this through. I want to prove to myself that I can conquer my more baser urges – and also to a degree prove to her I can.

 

My tasks this week dealt more with getting comfortable with being caged again. Of course Kesarah had to make sure I edged for 30 minutes solid as many times as I could the night before I was locked up. The next couple days she gave me some time to get comfortable with my cage again before giving me my task yesterday…I was to send her 4 photos and 1 video of things I found truly hot but she wanted some actual thought behind it – not just the first images I pull off Google.

I thought the two days being locked up with no physical stimulation would have helped to cool me off a bit but after bombarding myself with all kinds of explicit images, I could only groan in frustration that my cage prevented me from even becoming erect. Another devious well thought out task. But other then sexual frustration – there are some benefits that come with having my cage back on.

During one of our conversations this week, we started talking about what it is with submission that just seems to put us at ease. For me it is the fact that I don’t have control, I am not directly making the decisions. It takes the thought out of it and leaves me to just act. It is over simplifying it but that freedom to me puts me at ease and I can feel even right now that my stress level is not nearly as high as I would expect. I just feel more…centered if that makes sense.

That feeling has allowed me to focus more on other aspects of my life such as work. At the beginning of this week, I was sure that today I would end up working. There was simply too much to do and not enough time. What I found however was that my productivity was through the roof. I was able to offload what I didn’t need and accomplished a mountain of work leaving my Saturday and Sunday free to do things like write blogs on websites devoted to kink.  I know I have Kesarah to thank for that.

It might sound crazy but hear me out. I am a guy so I spend a lot of time thinking about sex but I have given up my control over when I can get off and when I cant. It is completely out of my hands which allows me to push it out of my mind and focus on tasks I do have control over. I still think about sex – but ultimately with a cage over my cock I can’t do anything about it so rather then reaching for my phone and a few porn sites – I focus on other things I can do. I never ever considered using submission as a motivating tool but I am beginning to see it could work. Kesarah asked me before we started if I had any goals I wanted to accomplish and I didn’t really have an answer – it was just an unexpected question but now…maybe I should. If this week is any indicator – it would increase my chances of success.

That being said, chastity also has its drawbacks as well. For one, finding a cage that fits right sucks. You could always fork out more money for a custom fit which many forums recommend but if you measure wrong or don’t like it…then what? I have purchased two cages – one silicone and one plastic. While the plastic one seems to fit my cock itself better, all the pieces make it a bit of a pain in the ass to get on and off – likely because the A ring isn’t quite the right size – I need a bit bigger which I need to order separate. The silicon is the opposite. I can get the ring to fit just fine but its the actual tube that is too long but it works. If you have done any looking online, these devices are not cheap either. I shelled out $199 for one of them and $149 for the other.  In short, if you are only mildly interested – it can be a frustratingly pricey to find the right cage for you. And even finding the right cage doesn’t guarantee that  you will be 100% comfortable. These things will rub you, chafe you, catch stray hairs…a little bit of silicone lube can go a LONG way to making your lock up more enjoyable.

There are also some lifestyle changes that come with it that you have to be more conscious of. For example, peeing at urinals? Forget about it. Not only would it be a bit awkward if someone peaked over and saw your cage – sitting usually makes it much easier.  Clothing for the most part doesn’t need to change if you pick out a cage designed for long term wear. Most of them will fit easily under your clothes. If you are into more short term there lock up – there are of course cages for that is well – particularly metal ones seem to fit short term wear better. Cleaning up takes a bit more efforts – make sure you stock up on q-tips or similar materials so you can clean inside the cage if you don’t have the option of taking it off. Its a bit awkward but it works.

Oh and going through an airport? Use the plastic locks…

For me the benefits of chastity are well worth it and I would encourage anyone interested to try it – whether it is a weekend play date, medium term like myself or more permanent. A good Domme or keyholder could just be the perfect person to give you the motivation you need…or just have some fun.

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